Children Moving Between Households

Whether your child(ren) is moving between two households every other weekend or several times per week, there are things that you can do to make the transition easier for your child(ren). For example, knowing your child(ren)’s personality can direct you to how they might respond during the transition times. Which of these three types fits your children's personalities?

· Is your child an easy child, one who responds well to change?

· Is your child slow-to-warm up, one who needs more time to get used to new situations?

Other Considerations:

· Depending on the child’s age, speak to them about their concerns, but remember that you are the parent. Some concerns may be, confusion of where they are going to be on a given day…(This may be more of a consideration for older children who are more social and more active in activities. It can be confusing for your child’s friends to remember which house your child is at.)

· How are the parenting going to handle birthdays and holiday gifts? (Are you going to each have a party or is there going to be some coordination in who is giving the celebration, who is coming, and who is giving what gift? Is it going to be a joint celebration?)

These tips come from the University of Minnesota Extension Service booklet, We Agree: Creating a Parenting Plan.

· Help them pack - let them decide on a few familiar things that will make them feel comfortable in either home.

· Reassure your children - let them know that both parents love them.

· Tell them you will never leave them.

· They may show anxiety before going to the other parents home. Realize their anxiety is probably due to a new routine.

· Talk positively about time they'll spend with the other parent - it helps them see the importance of being with both parents and know its okay to go.

· Pick up your children during a natural transition time in their day - before or after an activity is a time they are used to "switching gears".

· Pick up your children without starting an argument with the other parent - if you cannot, find a place such as school or daycare where you won't have to interact with the other parent.

· Explain how long they will be with the other parent.

· Use a calendar - it helps show when they are in different households.

· Do not make your children messengers.

· Keep the focus on the children - when you ask about their time in the other home.